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End Straight Marriage in Texas!
October 29, 2005, 10:18:03 pm
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ABOVE: Opal P. Waters suddenly knows what it feels like to have your rights stricken from you.

With the November 8th date nearing for House Joint Resolution number #2, the legislators of Texas have finally heard our voice and have acted in unison to propose Proposition #2, a constitutional amendment to outlaw all forms of marriage, especially those between a man and woman.

Yes, we’re as shocked as you, but as you can clearly see from the actual bill is worded as follows:

SECTION 1. Article I, Texas Constitution, is amended by adding Section 32 to read as follows: Sec. 32. (a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman. (b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.

Clearly, we see that section 1a. clearly defines what marriage is—a heterosexual union. However, section 1b also clearly enumerates that neither the state of Texas, nor any government entity under it, can recognize “any legal status identical or similar to marriage,” effectively outlawing marriage.

Finally, our day has come. No longer shall marriage be a cruel joke of a union. No longer shall our children be torn apart by harsh divorces. No longer shall people be discriminated on the basis of their sexual orientation. Forever shall the stories of non-passionate sex be put to rest.

Texas has finally grown the balls to realize that the entire institution of marriage should be eradicated.

This corrupt institution shall cease to exist in our great state of Texas once this amendment passes on November 8th. Be sure, above all, that you go out and vote on this historic day of days. We need as many people to say “Yes” to proposition 2 as possible. Early voting has already begun, and we need more and more people to help approve this amendment.

Send a message that will be heard ‘round the nation: the Texas people shall not tolerate marriage any more.

The beginning of the end starts with us—spread the word.

Aside: You know, this would be a great fake article for us. Fortunately, the Texas legislators have made the work easy for us. The law actually is worded incorrectly, and should it pass, it could, if interpreted by a judge correctly, prevent all future marriage in Texas (as it’s read). Irony at its best.

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